What's sad about this, I may know some of the people who thought these up...darn violists!
Top-Ten Bad Dissertation Titles List
1. Uncertainty in Music: A Definitive Survey
2. The Catalan Influence on the French Augmented Sixth Chord in the Music of Engelbert Humperdinck
3. The Voicing of the Final Chord in Music of the Classical Period
4. A Syncategorematically Recursive Hedra-Lattice of Poly-PC Postponement: A Theory of Atonal Silence
5. Heinrich Schenker: Threat or Menace?
6. Prolonging the Agony: A Schenkerian Approach to Muzak in the Dentist's Office
7. “Where Are All My Favorite Notes?” A Statistical Tabulation of Every Pitch-Class in the Serial Music of Webern
8. A Violist Walked into a Barline: Rhythm and Meter in the Structure of Viola Jokes
9.Three Times a Lady: Triple Counterpoint in the Music of Britney Spears
10. The Whole Step: Our Misunderstood Friend